This led to short spells of breakdowns in front of a close friend and my sister both of whom, fortunately, didn't molly cuddle me, but got me to see some home truths about why my life is where it is.

The reason I'm sharing this here is that there is sense in the 'all for the best' saying that we keep saying. Everything happens with a purpose.

I needed to go through this phase of intense self reflection to look up and forward. After you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is UP. But, ONLY if you want to! I could have continued feeling hopeless and drowned in self pity - continued to go through the motions of life without actually living life but I consciously chose not to. I've realized that innately, I am an optimist. I always see hope. There is a purpose to my being here.

I am back and I am rocking ok, maybe just swaying for now but will get there.

In my search for hope and meaning, I came across a saying that I want to share with all of you. The castles you live in were first built in the air. Live your dreams. Ariana Trinity

I went for the inaugural match at Chinnaswamy stadium Royal Challengers Vs. Knight Riders! My first ever live match and I've come away an addict. The inaugural ceremony was mind-blowing! The fireworks, the gymnasts, the laser lights I am still blown away.

As usual they had sold more tickets than the capacity so we had to watch the inaugural standing up which seemed ok as we were on our feet in any case to Shankar, Ehsaan, Loy's music. We did manage to settle in and find some seats for the match, thankfully. During the Knight Rider's innings whenever there was a four or a six or even a wicket there was hindi music playing to which the cheerleaders were dancing. But what was even better was watching them dance during the Royal Challengers' innings (Short though it was) to the latest Kannanda songs good fun!!

And then the cricket! Macullum absolutely brilliant! I've always had a soft corner for Ganguly and Ponting and to see them both run in together, celebrate was a fine moment for cricket. All the past bitterness seems to have been forgotten. And I think that's one of the biggest takeaways from the IPL. Watching a Pollock try and get Boucher and Kallis out - or a Yuvi's captaincy being tested against Dhoni's. The teams dynamics are very interesting... And the format and the team compositions are such that every match so far has been edge of the seat excitement. I am simply loving it :-)

Dravid, after winning his match against Mumbai, said that the local lads are learning from the international players and that we must look forward to some good innings from them too - hopefully this should be true. Mumbai and Jaipur seem to be the underdogs here as they do not have as good a team as the others but who knows this is 20:20. My current favs are the Knight Riders (sentimental choice) but I cannot resist holding out hope for Tendulkar's Mumbai Indians. Sachin, Sachin!!

I want to end by sharing a very witty poster that someone was holding up at Chinnaswamy 'Six Pack vs. Six Pegs'.

Cheers to a long and exciting time for cricket!!!

An empty beach, windswept,

Shimmering white sands,

Watching the tide sweep in,

Waves coming in, receding.

Coming in, receding.

Coming in, receding.

The roar of the sea, the sound receding with the waves.

It's funny how often I visit my happy place

When life throws a googly or two up at my face

But, yes, my happy place waits for me

I can still hear the waves and the breeze.

Mere dil mein hai jaisi, woh aag kahaan?

Raat ke kale aasmaan par patakon ki roshni

Un mein mere aankhon ki chamak kahaan?

Sabke dilon mein hain khushiyaan,

Par tumko paane ki khushi kahaan !!

brings back memories that I thought were afar

buried deep and unreachable, amidst the others that are easier on the heart

but now.

a wound re-opens and I will wait for time to heal it
slowly.

it's true. I did feel something for you

why was i under the illusion that it was so strong that you would feel it too?

But, yes, there is scope for improvement. It saddens me that there are so many barriers built between us language, caste, race, religion. And that's why I think what Gurmeet Singh is currently doing is very essential and important and if he manages to get some children in changing their mindsets, it will go a long way in strengthening our future. At a flower show in Bangalore last week, I saw a group of children waving banners and loudly urging people to not litter the place and to keep Bangalore green! And the children were enjoying themselves. This is great more and more schools have begun to start activities to get children socially aware. I know that I can spare an hour or two every week for community work and I plan to do so. There is a school for the blind, and an orphanage close to home. There are some great agencies like dream a dream foundation, swabhimana, i-volunteer and family services that help give us a platform to help with various causes. Let's all try and make a difference!. It's about time we took full advantage of living in a democracy. Jai hind!! J

YES, he is!

And here we go again

Waiting with bated breath,

Crossed fingers (and some toes),

Will he do it or will he fail?

The nation looks on

Has he lost his touch,

Or does he still have the magic

The press waits

Like hungry vultures

The corporate world

Their millions riding on him

But all I can think is "Tendulkar, its great to have you back!"

And the non-stop refrain running through my mind

"Sachinnnn, Sachin!!!! Sachinnnn, Sachin!"